We are brought up in a way and in such a world where others’ views about us matter the most. Be it as a teenager while dressing, as an adult in society, or as a professional in the office. How we behave, dress, speak, work, etc. is mostly dictated by what others think of us.
Since childhood we are taught to respect others’ views about us “What will people say?” is an axiom that’s hammered in our psyche.
Many dreams have been crushed and many potentials remained unfulfilled because of this thought.
With changing times, you would think that this thought would go away as we are more learned, more mature, and more worldly. But look around you, this thought is getting stronger in the current world, where keeping appearances has become very important.
What we do, what we eat, where we go for vacation, how we behave, and what products we consume are all governed by others.
Everyone wants to get more likes. So the setting, the gestures, and the dresses, all have to be literally picture perfect. As these pictures shall go on the internet for the world to see and judge. And with every passing day, we care more about others’ opinions of us.
Self-loathing, disappointment, depression, and self-harm have become very common. If you don’t see it, it’s because ‘they’ don’t want you to see it or you are all too busy collecting and dishing out likes to care for anything else.
Sooner or later everyone goes through that phase where they get into one of those serious conditions and start doubting themselves. And they will continue to go down that rabbit hole as the world around them will appear to be perfect. Some might be able to come out of it sooner, some later with support but there will be some who will end up taking a drastic step.
The eternal question that begs the answer is “Should others’ views about us matter?” When it comes to you or your work, should you listen and change your ways because others are telling you to or not?
The parents, the teachers, the friends, the colleagues, and bosses everyone has taught us to listen to the opinion of others if we want to ‘improve‘ or ‘do better in our life.
But can we improve ourselves, and our life, based on others’ opinions?
The short answer, in today’s world maybe not. In today’s world where anyone and everyone is dishing out ‘gyaan‘ and people are self-proclaimed ‘life coaches‘ without life experiences, where everyone has an opinion about everything and is an expert on all topics (with youtube knowledge), the only person you can trust in this chaotic world is ‘yourself‘.
It’s not bad to listen, you can listen and you should listen, think over it, but do what appears right to you, what appears right for you. Don’t muddle your thoughts, don’t self-doubt based on likes and trends.
Each individual is unique, things that worked for their relationship might not work for you, the investment schemes they are suggesting might not be right for your risk profile, and the subjects the other kids are interested in, you might struggle with them.
So keep your thoughts and viewpoints on top while making decisions for yourself. You are your best advocate. No one will understand you better than yourself.
What’s the worst that can happen if you follow your own path, and do what appears right to you? You might fail. But the unfortunate truth is you also might fail while following others’ advice as well. No one in this world can guarantee you success following their advice (and if some do, they are the biggest fraud). So why not follow your thoughts, take your decisions, and do what appears right to you?
To succeed in life, the only skill that you need to hone is to be able to distinguish between right and wrong. Don’t let others tell you what’s right and wrong. Trust your instincts. And your subconscious will help you with that.
It’s easy to get molded by others’ thoughts and plans for us but it’s important to be able to carve our own path, develop our own thinking and take our own decisions. Life is a long journey and all those advisors of today will not be there when you fail or meet a challenge down the line: But you are always going to be with you and looking out for yourself.